Now that I've outed myself and revealed my name, I can actually write a bit about a problem that I'm incredibly familiar with and which will probably be topical forever: having an unusual name.
My name, Genevieve, is interesting, unusual, and difficult to spell. Having this name for my entire life has caused me to adopt certain attitudes with regards to names that are interesting, unusual, OR difficult to spell:
- Do not name your child a popular name with an unusual spelling: I know you think you're getting something over on all the other parents by naming your Olivia "Ollyvia" or "Oliveya" or whatever. You're not. They will still be called "Olivia H." or some other nickname, but they'll have to spell their damn name for everyone forever. Don't do that. I'm ok with spelling my name on command, but I'd probably be less cheerful about it if I had to do it because my name was Gennafyr pronounced like "Jennifer" you know?
- Unusual names sometimes require unusual stories: I can't tell you how many times I've been asked how or why my parents named me the way they did. The answer I have (which is the god's honest truth) is that my mom found the name in a book of saints and thought it was beautiful*. It is. But it'd be way better if I could say something like "Oh, yeah, my Grandmother nearly became a nun** and she was inspired by Saint Genevieve so my parents decided to name me in honor of her." Being forced to tell acquaintances that you were named after your mother or father's favorite liquor, car brand, or piece of Ikea furniture is even worse.
- If your child's unusual name has a meaning, tell them: Obviously not applicable if you named your child "Pinot Grigio." Also, Pinot, honey, talk to me. I'll help you through it. Also, do a quick google search on existing uses. I happen to share my name with the dog from the Madeline series of children's books. This doesn't bother me overly much, but it's good to know in advance when you're naming your offspring.
- Pray that child doesn't have dyslexia: I've gotten extremely good at spelling my name out loud. Actually, I ended up extremely good at spelling overall. This is more luck than anything else, but, you know, light a candle or whatever the non-lapsed Catholic equivalent of lighting a candle is.
- Get used to nicknames: Oh my god, you guys, the amount of nicknames I've had in my life is downright unholy. Some are derived from my name, some not, but apparently no one likes names over two syllables. However, the best way to get nicknames to not stick? Don't respond to them. Then it's just a matter of whether your can out-stubborn whoever is trying to stick you with the unwanted nickname and you should ALWAYS out-stubborn those people. It's your goddamn name, you know?
- Make your unusually named child familiar with alternate pronunciations: My name is originally French/German/Celtic*** and the version that my family uses (Gen-Eh-Veev) is not the version that the whole world uses. I've learned to love the French version of my name (Jon-Vi-Ev) just as much, if not more, than I do the version that I'm used to.
- Unusual names can be inspiring: I joke about it a lot, but being the only "Genevieve" for almost my entire life has helped me be more comfortable living outside the norm in other ways. I've always felt at least a little special or different because of it, and I love the history and meaning of it. That said…
- Have a sense of humor about it: When I was in college Mattel came out with a Barbie doll named Dancing Princess Genevieve. I own this doll, because that shit is hilarious.
I hope this helps those of you out there who plan on naming children at some point in your life. Really, though, stick to existing names, don't fucking around with the spelling, and take five minutes to google search/imagine having that name in middle school and you should be set. When in doubt, just stick "Supreme Court Justice" in front of your preferred name and see how it sounds. Just in case.
* This same mother was ready to name me "Hunter" if I was a boy because her favorite author was Hunter Thompson. My mom was 25 when she had me. I think I ended up with the better outcome in that 50/50 crap shoot. Though I still refer to Hunter Thompson as my namesake.
** True.
*** You get over 1000 years back and all that shit just starts merging together.
5 comments:
If Grace had a been a boy she might have ended up with the US-unusual (but not Ireland-unusual) Caolan. (Kay-lun). But I guess that's just because I had a strong hunch she'd be a girl. With our always-has-to-be-spelled German last name, I'm glad I gave the kids easy first names.
(The last name is pronounced Ha-bine, even syllables, btw.)
I love your name, I forgot to add. Of course you have to have that Barbie! It's a moment!
My name is Carey. I have pretty well gotten used to it being misspelled, mispronounced or being referred to as Ms. by phone or mail. There are two different stories where is came from, either I was named after Cary Grant or it was picked from a book. I tend toward the book based on the "e". Twice in my life I have dated a ladies named Carrie. That's fun. I agree about the common named spelled weird. I tend to be paranoid about misspelling someone's name. I like the Supreme Court Justice rule it sounds more positive than my "Don't name a girl anything that sounds like dancing naked around a pole would be a good career choice" rule. Also I am a felony probation and parole office. The number one name among my female clients seems to be Britney, Britany, Britnay, Brittney, ect. So avoid that one too.
Thank you! I wholeheartedly agree on all the points you made! My parents did the opposite of yours: gave us all 4 letter names. But the one thing they didn't think about: spending my entire life explaining that my name is my name, and not a nickname. I have lost track over the years the number of times I've explained to gov't admin types, that I'm actually giving them my legal, full name. In some ways though, it's way easier still than being Brytney (I grew up with two in the same high school class spelled that way.) Yuck!
My name is Jadine and I have spent my entire life correcting people who seem to hear Janine, Janie, Jolene...anything but my name which is pronounced Jay-dean. Uncommon names can be a pain in the ass. And then once they get it I get "what an unusual name, where is it from..." etc. It wouldn't be bad if it was occasionally, but it's pretty frequent.
Okay , thanks, rant over.
Post a Comment